Sound clips from Clerks

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Dante: 37, my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks.
Randal: In a row?

Dante: Hey are there any balls down there?
Jay: About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry.

Olaf: My love for you is ticking clock, Berserker. Would you like to suck my cock, Berserker.
Jay: That's beautiful man.

Dante: You knocked the casket over, for Christ sake!
Randal: I was just leaning on it, it was an accident.
Dante: Like someone knocks a casket over on purpose.
Randal: So the casket fell over, big deal.
Dante: Her fuckin' body fell out!
Randal: I put her back in it, it's not like it matters if she breaks something.

Randal: This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.

Randal: Which did you like better, Jedi or Empire Strikes Back?
Dante: Empire.
Randal: Blasphemy

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Jay: Shit, my grandma used to say, What's better, fuckin, a good plate with nothin' on it... No wait, I fucked up. What's a good plate with nothin' on it?
Dante: Meaning?
Jay: I don't know, she was senile and shit, she used to fucking piss herself all the time.

Jay: What you want Grizzly Adams?

Jay: Come on Silent Bob, let's get the fuck out of this fucking jip joint. With this fucking faggot Dante, you cock smoker.

Randal: You know how much money the average jiz-mopper makes per hour?

Customer: Are you calling me a liar?

Randal: No time for love Dr. Jones.

Dante: I'm not even supposed to be here today.

Dante: Hey try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot. Hey you, get back here.

Randal: There's nothing more exlirating that pointing out the shortcommings of others, is there?

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