Movie Quotes from Up in Smoke
[stoned cop walks to window]Cop: What do you guys want?
Pedro: Hey how am I driving, man?
Man Stoner: [looks around] : I think we're parked.
Pedro: Man, what is in this shit, man?
Man Stoner: Mostly Maui Waui man, but it's got some Labrador in it.
Pedro: What's Labrador?
Man Stoner: It's dog shit.
Pedro: What?
Man Stoner: Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.
Pedro: Yeah?
Man Stoner: I had it on the table and the little motherfucker ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?
Pedro: You mean we're smokin' dog shit, man?
Man Stoner: Gets ya high, don't it?
[Song, "Rockin' Robin" plays... ]
Man Stoner: I think it's even better than before, you know?
Pedro: Uhhh, I wonder what Great Dane tastes like, man.
Border Guard: So, how long you've been in Mexico?
Pedro: A week. I mean a day.
Border Guard: Well, which is it? A week or a day?
Pedro: A weekday.
Man Stoner: Man my legs hurt.
Pedro: Yeah I bet!
Man: You wanna get high man?
Pedro: Does Howdy Doody got wooden Balls man?
Arnold Stoner: When, boy? When, are you gonna get your act together?
Man Stoner: Yeah, that 'Nam grass will fuck anyone up, man!
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Arnold Stoner: You get a goddamn job before sundown, or we're shipping you off to military school with the goddamn Finkelstein-shit kid! Son of a bitch!
Strawberry: The great outdoors!
Pedro: It's punk rock, Man! We can do that; we can be punks, Man!
[Man has disguised himslef as a woman while hitchhiking]
Man Stoner: Hey, man; I'm glad you picked me up, man. I was about to freeze my balls off.
Pedro de Pacas: Man, I was hopin' you didn't have no balls.
Pedro: [laughing while stoned] Way anchor! How much does it weigh? I don't know, I forgot! pffhhh! Ha ha I saw that in a movie once...!
Arresting Officer: Sir, could I please see your license?
Pedro: Whuut?
Arresting Officer: Your license. Where's your license?
Pedro: It's back there on the bumper, man!
Arresting Officer: No, I mean your DRIVER'S license.
Pedro: Oh yeah, I got the bullshit back here man...
[gets license with great difficulty]
Pedro: Hey I thought'a somethin' really funny, man... Your mother!
[laughs]
Arresting Officer: [after dirty look, of course] Sir, what's your name?
Pedro: uuhhh... Isn't in on the license, man? Yeah, that's it! Pedro De Pacas, man, that's my name...
Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir, what's your name?
Pedro: Whut? I told you my name, man!
Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir... what's YOUR name?
Pedro: [to Man] Hey man! The dude wants to know your name, man!
[Man vomits onto the floor of the car]
Pedro: Uuhhh - His name is RAALLLPH, man!
[Pedro is having a panic attack after smoking Man's dope]
Man Stoner: Here, man, mellow out. Here, take this
[Pedro swallows the capsule]
Man Stoner: No, wait a minute don't take that.
Pedro: [Worried] Hey, man; what was that shit you gave me?
Man Stoner: Man, that was the most acid I ever saw anyone take at one time, man.
Pedro: [panicing] Acid! Man, I don't mess with that shit, man. A guy in my neighborhood took some once, his head swelled up and everything, man!
Man Stoner: [laughing] Ho, ho, ho; man, I hope you're not planning on doing anything for the next couple of months.
Man Stoner: [to Pedro, who is in the throes of panic] HEY! MELLOW OUT, MAN!
Pedro: Don't worry, man. Those aren't narcs, they're Las Emigras; you know, the Immigration Service looking for illegal aliens.
Man Stoner: What's the Immigration Service doing here, man?
Pedro: My cousin needed a ride to his brother's wedding in Tijuana; so he called the Emigras, man. They'll deport the entire wedding party, man. They get a free bus ride across the border and lunch. When the wedding is over, man, they'll just come back across the border.
Sgt. Stedenko: Now just how well do you know that freak with the basketball?
Unknown: Which basketball?
Sgt. Stedenko: Which basketball?
Sgt. Stedenko: Some asshole pissed on my leg!
Man Stoner: [looking at a dinky little joint] I hope your dick's bigger than this, man.
Man Stoner: Hey, hey don't take those, man.
Pedro: ...Wha?
Man Stoner: I almost gave you the wrong shit, man.
Pedro: Hey, man, I already took 'em, man.
Man Stoner: Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo...
Pedro: Hey, whaddaya mean "ho ho ho ho ho"?
Man Stoner: Oh... HU-WOW, MAN!
Pedro: Hey, what was that shit, man?
Man Stoner: You just at the most acid I've ever seen anybody eat in my life!
Pedro: Hey, man, I never had no acid before, man.
Man Stoner: I just hope you're not busy for about a month...
Man Stoner: [Cheech starts toking on the giant joint] Toke, toke it up, man!
Man Stoner: [Cheech starts choking] Kinda grabs ya' by the boo-boo, don't it?
Arnold Stoner: You get yourself a job before sundown, or we're sending you to military school with that
[pause]
Arnold Stoner: goddam Finklestein shit kid! Son of a bitch!
Man Stoner: No, hey man, if we're gonna wear uniforms man, you know let’s have everybody wear something different.
Pedro: Yea, that's it. Yea, we want something wear everybody wears something different man, but the same, you know?
Curtis: This shit is so bad, it'll put a hump on a camel's back.
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