Sound clips from The 40 Year Old Virginlovetitties.wav (48K) lovetitties.mp3 (36K) lovetitties.ogg (26K)
Andy: “Oh, man, I love titties!”nasty.wav (386K) nasty.mp3 (281K) nasty.ogg (197K)
Andy: “I don’t kiss and tell.”
Jay (Romany Malco): “Fuck it, I raise you. Nastiest shit you’ve ever done. I’m talkin’ ’bout nasty.”
Andy: “Uh, wow. So many stories are running through my head right now. I dated this girl for a while, and she was really a nasty freak. She just loved to get down with sex all the time. She was like, any time of day. She was like, ‘Yeah, let’s go! I’m so nasty!’ And I’d be nailing her.”
Jay: “Oh, shit.”
Andy: “She’d be like, ‘Oh, you’re nailing me! Cool.'” talkdirty.wav (219K) talkdirty.mp3 (160K) talkdirty.ogg (112K)
Jay: “She talk dirty to you?”
Andy: “Oh, she loved to dirty-talk. Totally into it. She’d be like, ‘Yeah, let’s screw, let’s… I wanna fuck.’ God, it was so dirty. She’d be like, ‘Me so horny, me love you long time!’ So…” areyougay.wav (123K) areyougay.mp3 (91K) areyougay.ogg (65K)
Jay: “Dude, are you gay?”
Andy: “No, I’m not gay. I’ve been with tons of women.”
Cal: “I touched a guy’s balls at Hebrew school once.”
Jay: “Dude, it’s not a big deal if you like to fuck guys. I’m cool. I got friends that fuck guys… in jail.”
upyourasses.wav (36K) upyourasses.mp3 (27K) upyourasses.ogg (21K)
Andy: "You guys are so up your asses."dirtyword.wav (57K) dirtyword.mp3 (43K) dirtyword.ogg (31K)
Andy: "Yeah, well, virgin's not a dirty word. You know what's a dirty word, is asshole and that's what you guys are."respectwomen.wav (71K) respectwomen.mp3 (53K) respectwomen.ogg (38K)
Andy: "You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much, that I completely stay away from 'em!"notagoodlook.wav (42K) notagoodlook.mp3 (32K) notagoodlook.ogg (24K)
Andy: "You know what, guys? This is not a good look for me!"man-o-lantern.wav (18K) man-o-lantern.mp3 (14K) man-o-lantern.ogg (11K)
David (Paul Rudd): "You look like a man-o-lantern."boxofporn.wav (24K) boxofporn.mp3 (19K) boxofporn.ogg (15K)
David: "Hey, man. Got a big box of porn for you."jackedittwice.wav (233K) jackedittwice.mp3 (170K) jackedittwice.ogg (120K)
David: "This is, uh, Everybody Loves Raymond. That's probably not supposed... This is a good show. I just tape it sometimes."
Andy: "Well, I don't think you understand something, Dave. I don't- I don't want this stuff, okay? Because I don't do that, that much."
David: "What, masturbate?"
David: "Are you... Dude, I've jacked it twice since I've been here. Are you kidding me? Why not?"
Andy: "It's not a hobby of mine." takeyourporn.wav (245K) takeyourporn.mp3 (179K) takeyourporn.ogg (126K)
Andy: "Take your porn with you."
David: "I'm not taking it."
Andy: "Take you're box-o-porn."
David: "It is my gift to you."
Andy: "No. I don't want it. David, it's not... Just-just..."
David: "Andy, for the last time, I don't want your giant box of pornography!"
Andy: "No, no, no! Come on, man. So uncool."
David: "Uncool? Uncool is trying to give an honest man a big box of porn, Andy!"