Sound clips from Swingers
Trent: They’re gonna give daddy the Rain Man suite! You dig that? We’re going to Vegas, Mike.
Trent, Mike: VEGAS!
Mike: You think we’ll get there by midnight?
Trent: Honey, we’re gonna be up five hundy by midnight!
Trent, Mike: VEGAS, BABY! VEGAS!
Rob: Where is this place?
Mike: For some reason the cool bars in Hollywood have to be hard to find and have no sign. It’s kind a like a speak easy kind a thing. It’s kind a cool it’s like you’re in on some kind a secret, you know. You tell a chick you been some place it’s like bragging you know how to find it.
Mike: Now the trick is that we gotta look like we don’t need this shit and they give us the shit for free.
Trent: Well, you know I think you look great man, and I’m looking like the money like the bomb. Right?
Mike: All right stop. See that table? That’s where we make our scene.
cocktail waitress: Cocktails? Guy behind the guy.
Mike: I’ll have a scotch on the rocks. Any scotch will do as long as it’s not a blend of course. Single malt Glenlivet, Glenfiddich perhaps maybe a Glen… any Glen.
Trent: Who’s the big winner here tonight at the casino? Mikey, that’s who. Mikey’s the big winner! Mikey wins!
Trent: Oh, Mike, do you even think I know what the hell there saying to me half the time? I don’t know if there talking about how hard it is to be adopted, or how their dad can’t show them affection. All I do man, is stare at their mouth and wrinkle my eyebrows and somehow I turn out to be a big sweetie.
Trent: Oh, Mike, respect my ass. What they respect is honesty. Look you see how they dress when they go out. Right? They want you to notice ’em. Now all your doing is letting them know it’s working. You got to get off of this respect thing. There’s nothing wrong with letting the girls know that your money and that you want to party.
Trent: Is she looking at me now?
Trent: How about now, is she looking over here now?
Trent: What about now is she looking now?
Sue: No she’s not looking at you dude, will you quit asking me if she’s looking at you. She hasn’t looked at you. Wait, she just looked.
Trent: See what I’m saying man. Ya understand?
Trent: When you go up to talk to her man, I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone’s *really* hopping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy your not sure whether or not you like yet.
Trent: Look at all the beautiful honeys here. Excuse me darling, I’m sorry, wow. I want you to remember this face here, this is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.
cocktail waitress: O.K.
Mike: Will you cut that shit out.
Trent: What? She smiled.
Mike: That’s not cool man.
Trent: Did she, or did she not smile?
Mike: It doesn’t matter.
Trent: Mike, I’m telling you girls love that stuff.
Mike: Your gonna screw up our plan.
Trent: Baby, we’re gonna get laid.
cocktail waitress: Well can I get you something else. You really shouldn’t leave here without getting something for free.
Mike: Why ruin a perfect night.
Trent: Listen, bring a single malted Glengarry for me and one for my boy Mikey here. And if you tell the bartender to go easy on the water then this 50 cent piece has got your name written all over it. I want you to run along, because I’ll be timing you. I’m gonna keep time. 1 2 3 4!
Trent: She can’t roll the dice. She’s business class.
Mike: Business class?
Sue: Big butt. You know, can’t fly coach.
Trent: You know what you are? You’re like a big bear with claws and with fangs…
Sue: …big fucking teeth, man.
Trent: Yeah… big fuckin’ teeth on ya’. And she’s just like this little bunny, who’s just kinda cowering in the corner.
Trent: Yeah, man just kinda… you know, you got these claws and you’re staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you’re thinking, “How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?”
Sue: And you’re poking at it, you’re poking at it…
Trent: Yeah, you’re not hurting it. You’re just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny’s scared Mike, the bunny’s scared of you, shivering.
Sue: And you got these fucking claws and these fangs…
Trent: And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you’re looking at your claws and you’re looking at your fangs. And you’re thinking to yourself, you don’t know what to do, man. “I don’t know how to kill the bunny.” With *this* you don’t know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?
Sue: You’re like a big bear, man.
Mike: So you’re not just like fucking with me?
Trent: No I’m not fucking with you.
Sue: Honestly, man.
Sue: I’m telling ya you’re money.
Trent: You’re so fucking money!
[phone call when Trent convinces Mike to go to Vegas]
Mike: I thought Caesars was more the dope spot.
Trent: Back in the day this place was a real contender, but now they’ll appreciate the business. They’ll probably fall all over themselves for a couple of high class guys like me and you. You want to be fresh on the scene right?
Mike: Yeah, but the new places down the strip now those places are supposed to be it.
Trent: Ah Mike, you don’t want all that fucking Pirates of the Caribbean horse shit. Ya know? Or the rock and roll grunge tip. Guys like you and me got a kick it here. Old school.
Mike: Yeah, this is truly old school.
Trent: Definitely old school.
Trent: You know, I’m gonna find me two waitresses here and I’m gonna pull me a Fredo.
Mike: Yeah, well there all skanks.
Trent: What are you talking about? Look at all the beautiful babies here.
Mike: The beautiful babies don’t work midnight to six on a Wednesday. This is the skank shift.
Mike: So how long do I wait to call?
Trent: A day.
Sue: Tomorrow, then a day.
Mike: So two days?
Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it’s like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?
Sue: Yeah, but two’s enough not to look anxious.
Trent: But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you…
Mike: Yeah, but you know what, maybe I’ll wait 3 weeks. How’s that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.
Charles: Then ask her where you met her.
Mike: Yeah, I’ll ask her where I met her. I don’t remember. What does she look like? And then I’ll ask if we fucked. Is that… would that be… T, would that be the money?
Trent: You know what? Ha ha ha, Mike, laugh all you want, but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who’s ready to party.
Mike: Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?
Trent, Sue: Six days.
Trent: Look, you take yourself out of the game, you start talking to ’em about puppy dogs and ice cream of course it’s gonna end up on the friendship dip.
Mike: I just don’t think she liked me.
Trent: Baby, you are so money and you don’t even know it.
Trent: You’re the fun loving, outgoing party guy and you’re sweatin’ some lawn jockey. Jesus Christ!